Types of Talk by Kimberly Miller

Posted on October 21, 2012 by stcroixinsights

Types of Talk

Our lives revolve around communication. We communicate with our friends and family and many of our businesses depend on communication. Communication can be written or verbal; it also takes into account non-verbal gestures such as nodding your head, smiling, or turning away from someone. If we have a strong understanding of the types of verbal communication, we can often better utilize our voices and be overall more confident in our communication.

There are four main types of talk. Each style has its own purpose and its own unique qualities. An awareness of how we talk and what purpose each type of talk serves can help us use communication in the healthiest way possible. After reviewing these types of talk, consider what styles you use and what styles may be problematic for you.

1. Small Talk. This is the chatty, sociable conversation that fills most of life. It’s watercolor talk. No feelings are communicated. It is ordinary, everyday communication – like “how was your day?” “thank-you for coffee” or “good morning.” The tone of voice and pace of speech are normal, relaxed, friendly and even. Small talk is inadequate for handling any important issue. 70% of talk is small talk.

2. Control Talk. This is directive talk: giving advice or telling others what they should think or do. This type of talk gives the listener one message – “I am in control and I know what’s right. We will do it my way.” This type of talk is sometimes necessary in a work environment. It can be troublesome, however, if one is forcing another to change or implementing ideas that are not well accepted. Heavy or constant control talk is always negative. Sometimes we stop listening to the content and only focus on the control. Control talk does not always have to be negative. We often need to use control talk with children – as parents often know what is best and need to exert our will at times. Use control talk carefully and be careful of sending a constant message that you are right and others are wrong.

3. Search Talk. This is brainstorming in a detached way. This is a non-threatening style that allows you to analyze, explore and speculate the past and future without making decisions or taking action. Children often ask questions. They engage in a lot of search talk as they try and figure out the world. In work, many decisions and strategies are first designed through search talk. This is not the style of talk used for making decisions. Rather, search talk is used for gathering information or examining alternatives when making decisions.

4. Straight Talk. This is the most intimate communication that takes place between two people who are important to each other. Straight talk occurs very much in the here-and-now. Each person in the conversation must have a sense of understanding and being understood. Both of you accept thoughts and feelings of your own and share information to reach a solution or compromise acceptable to all. Straight talk often occurs in relationships and less likely at work. However, in stressful work situations, such as evaluating performance or letting an employee go, straight talk may provide a more genuine and healthy means for communicating tough issues.

Having an understanding of the types of talk you and those around you use, can help you find healthy ways to communicate. Throughout our day, we transition between different types of talk. It’s this variety that keeps things interesting, but our insight into the substance of communication styles can help us have healthy relationships and happy workplaces.

If you would like to learn more about healthy relationship techniques and how they can be implemented at home and in workplaces, contact Kimberly Miller at kimberly at millerandmillerllc.com.

Finding Balance – Charting Your Own Course

Posted on September 6, 2012 by stcroixinsights

In a July, 2011 Case Study in FORTUNE on her business, Paragon Legal, Mae O’Malley poignantly stated, “I tell people to have a goal for how they’re going to change their life; be creative, because the business world does not prioritize building strong families.”

Often women, and increasingly men, feel the pressure to make a choice when it comes between chasing a successful career and raising a family. However, does it have to be a choice or does it require simply being creative to accomplish both?

If you’ve read my Bio, you know that I also chose creativity in my career path so that I could enjoy spending more time with my family. From picking up my middle school-aged daughter from school to being able to bring my son to and from college on breaks, owning my own business has allowed me this flexibility. Yet, that’s not to say that I’ve abandoned all notions of professional success either. I’m very much dedicated to the mission of St. Croix Advisors, which is helping business owners (and families) reach their financial goals.

For me, this balance, of helping others with my practice while maintaining a healthy family life, was not found in the 9-to-5 world. Yours may or may not be found in your current job situation or even in your next promotion. As O’Malley states, “[You] have to have a goal for how [you're] going to change [your] life.” For her, success did not come overnight. Facing the dotcom bubble burst of 2000, O’Malley had to move beyond her sense of failure over the loss of her job to recognizing it for what it was, an opportunity.

Whenever I have a conversation with clients, new or longstanding, we don’t really talk about money. We talk about goals. Just as with your finances, you need to be goal-oriented when it comes to your career and your family. What do you see yourself doing in five years? In ten? When do you want to retire? What is your spouse doing? How is your relationship? What character traits are present in your children? Will they be attending college? Your answers should begin the life-long process of chasing after your goals.

If you feel that your current career path is not leading you toward the goals you have in place for your family, what are you doing about that today? Each day, decisions can be made and action can be taken that put you closer to reaching those goals. So, my question for you is: If you’re not where you want to be, what are you doing to change that?

Chart your own course. Whether you’re in business for yourself or someone else, your ultimate destiny is in your hands alone. If you need help in your journey, as you transition to the role of business owner, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Tablets – Take ‘Em or Leave ‘Em?

Posted on August 23, 2012 by stcroixinsights

Tablets are all the rage lately. You can’t get on a plane, head to your local coffee shop, or even hang out at the beach without spotting a tablet, with iPads leading the pack. Whether or not you bought into the trend, it appears that tablets are here to stay.

Even if you currently own a tablet, you may not be aware of the vast array of practical business uses a tablet allots. From incorporating a tablet into your client presentations to turning it into a mobile cash register, your tablet could be just the ticket to increasing productivity while both in and out of the office.

Client Presentations: Not only can you turn your tablet into a useful presentation tool by loading the presentation onto the tablet and allowing it to play for your client audience, but you can also turn it into a valuable interactive and immediate way to “close the deal” by giving clients a way to fill out electronic forms and information requests automatically. Additionally, if you have internet access (through your portable mobile hot spot), you can use your tablet to process credit card payments and pull up any website (including your own) to answer questions, allay client fears about credibility, and prove online information availability right there.

Tradeshows & Networking Events: Need to grab information from multiple people? Why not have them fill out the form or enter the drawing electronically with tablets? This is not only quick and user friendly, but also eliminates the cost and time associated with the data entry step. Additionally, tablets may be mounted as part of a tradeshow disply to stream a presentation for your audience. Further, most newer tablets have built-in cameras that allow you to take a picture of business cards, and with the correct app, you can automatically compile and organize the information into your electronic Rolodex.

Travel: A light and streamlined alternative to your laptop, your tablet may provide just the functionality you need for a shorter trip or even the ability to remote access into your home or work computer.

The Fun Stuff: Not only can your tablet revolutionize the way you do business, but it can also enhance your favorite hobbies. From watching TV/movies and reading (books, magazines, and more) to “playing” a rock instrument and fun games, or even keeping the kids occupied, your tablet can handle it all. A portable cookbook, an easy way to check e-mails, browse the internet, and stay social, your tablet loves to multi-task as much as you do. Additionally, with the the right app, you can even turn your tablet into a second monitor for a fraction of the price.

Despite all of their benefits, tablets are not for everyone. If you are looking for a tool to complete text input intensive activities (lots of typing), need high resolution for image quality or will be working on activities that require lots of go-between among multiple applications, a tablet may not be for you.

However, if you require non of the above in a mobile device and were beyond excited about all of the ways you could use a tablet that we shared, then by all means, begin exploring your “new toy.”